 The Rutland
Waters Bike Ride
Rutland Water
Cycle June 20 2001
Attendees:
Jon Shaw
Anita Piekarska
Roy Montgomerie
Craig Lawton
Derek Burnham
Louise Burbank
Leaving work at 5.30 destined for North
Luffenhum, where as an air cadet used to shoot
L98's, 303's, I guess around 1988 -1990,
reminiscing my youth.
Approaching Oakham aahr...... in the Audi at the
train crossing, Derek was determined he was not
going to allow the Audi in front of him, (Volvo
drivers sprang to mind, though Derek has created
a revised benchmark for typical Volvo drivers) we
were following the convoy of Craig and Jon
(Rubber Duck & Pig Pen) not like Derek to be
behind. Derek was then courteous to the white
head, The little old lady in the Volvo (I still
think it was a Peugeot - But she was a typical Volvo driver) this kinda made up for the Audi
that he pulled out on.
Arrived at Jon & Anita house in North
Luffenhem, Sarah called, just had to sort out my
next evening?? Derek she's a good-looking chic!
Cycled to South Shore of Rutland water, the ride
was rough on the crutch, even with my extra
padding, as we could not continue all the way
around Rutland Water? cycled through various
villages, Wing etc...(reminds me of a friend
Richard who always say's etc - never goes into
detail). We accomplished many hills, probably not
the right word, attempted poorly/negotiated, 1st
gear wasn't good, Anita and I resorted in getting
of our bikes and drinking water, not off our
horses and drinking our milk, though I did feel
like John Wayne! (Saddle Sore), but not as macho,
but then I am a chic, dropping my bike at the
water stop and smashing open my front light,
Halfords crap! (Good old insulation tape!).
As attempting yet another steep hill Derek had to
explain to Frances on the phone why he was
panting so hard, yes?? was cycling up the hill,
it was at that point Derek was told that he had
missed his 14th Wedding Anniversary! Bad Boy,
table at the Indian restaurant booked also and he
was out cycling with friends from work! Oh
Dear...
The first stop, yes you've guessed it a Public
House type joby, but it wasn't the first pub
passed, we rode past 2 pubs in Wing, we resisted
temptation... So first stop Horse & Jockey,
Derek as always got aquatinted with the Landlord
and made a purchase from the gentlemen's room.
After discussion of Derek missing his wedding
anniversary, Roy came up with an excuse, that I
had given birth (likely bloody story!). Derek
always has to look after us (Dad) 5 loaves and
fishes, but in our case it was 3 packs of walkers
and 3 packs of Brannigans nuts and Pints!, Kind
of thing you shouldn't take for granted... Roy
eating most of the nuts and crisps.
Jon worked his charm and bought another round
(bribery) to get the phone number of the Nag
& Bag (Horse & Panniers) so that we could
assure a meal at the next water hole.
Jon on his streamlined bike, very slender,
compared to my fat one (fat middle bit), was
showing off, Derek thought he had become excited
at one point, using his construction to maintain
his balance as he was cycling with no hands!
Derek and I swapped bikes on route to the second
waterhole, what a smooth ride that was, compared
to my fat heavy thing, I think I need to invest
in a new one, though as approaching the second
waterhole, found myself braking hard, the front
end of the bike reached the lowest point of the
suspension, (BDC) which caused me to unbalance
and drop to the left, 90 degrees to 0 degrees in
how many seconds?, (which seemed in slow motion)
causing an subtle earthquake, at this point was
ready for a swift half...Thanks Jon Boy...
Playing round
about "IT" with Craig
Ripples and the
nice feeling that gave everyone.
In between getting food sorted, Derek and I were
competing in the releasing of gas, something that
Derek has not yet excelled at, but getting better
Good Boy!
Derek was about to play games, planting condoms
in Roy's baggage, it ended up on the candle in
between Derek and Anita...
Food arrived Anita's fish looked battered as
pointed out by Jon, Derek wanted to share his
thick ham (Gammon) with everyone, so he flopped
his piece of Ham over to Roy where remnants ended
up in my can of gas fluid.
Jon Shaw told us a story about a business trip to
Japan with Gordon, where Gordon had a fetish
about white ankle socks on Wery Pritty Girls. Roy
obviously expressed an interest and had deeper
knowledge of oriental girls in white ankle socks,
little skirts and Hockey sticks...
Derek had a wash prior to leaving the Nag &
Bag in the trough outside, it would have been a
good time to start a water fight, but I resisted
temptation?? & Anita decided to have another
drink (dirty stop outs!) can't fault them, and at
this point departed and cycled down the road and
loaded the bikes.
Derek decided to travel the way that he knew A47,
competitive as was, he just wanted to beat Craig
(Pig Pen), back to work.
Journey back listening to Simon & Garfunkel,
and an old friend of mine 'Hello darkness my old
friend, I have come to talk with you again', the
night sky was gorgeous not dark but lit up which
reflected what a pleasant evening that we had all
had, sort of sky you could have analyzed all
night, Pluto was not shy...
Traveling North on the M1, reminded me of the
song 'I drove all night', bright lights, fast
highway (motor way) feeling very tired but
relaxed, Derek had arrived back first, not
knowing, but winning yet again!
Ellistown/Ibstock/Odstone/Shakerstone/Heather/Ibstock
Cycle
Ellistown/Ibstock/Odstone/Shakerstone/Heather/Ibstock
Cycle July 4 2001
Cyclists
Heather Pearman
Mick Chaney
Roy Montgomerie
Craig Lawton
Louise Burbank
Socializers
Derek Burnham
Helen Butteriss
5.30pm departed from work in Convoy, Craig &
I in Derek's car, (Derek was not joining us, due
to his broken finger, I served the volley ball to
him, Last Tues and it kinda bent his finger
back!), Heather and Mick following. Roy had
forgotten his trainers so had to back to Quorn
and meet and my house.
In convoy, Craig decided he wanted to stop at the
BP garage, well we had got time we would only be
waiting for Roy at my house (Scrap yard) so in
convoy we piled into the garage, Craig & I,
Heather & Mick in 3 cars, drink, crunchie
bits and juisters were in order for Craig.
Arrived at the scrap yard at approx 6ish,
unloaded the bikes and Mick gave the neighbors an unexpected strip show, I changed in the house,
not forgetting my white ankle socks! We
congregated in the Forest where icepoles and
crunchie bits were in order, in a longer wait
than anticipated for Roy. 7PM arrived so we made
an executive decision to make a start. Headed of
to the top of Ellistown along Whitehall Road to
join the bridle path, to my amazement what I
thought I sensed Craig cycling along side me and
it was actually an old guy on a bike with a
motor, which looked like something from the
1950's, I couldn't stop laughing Helen could do
with one of them, so he overtook us on the
straight and as we climbed a slight hill Craig
shouted 'burn him out Lou' so we all overtook him
and joined the bridle path which I had seen many
time before as a little girl, during my summer
holidays, every Wednesday without fail we would
walk from Ibstock to Ellistown via the bridle
path to see my Granddad, and knew there was always
a reward of a ginger biscuit at the end of the
tiring walk!
Reaching Ibstock cycled through the village
Pretoria Road (Common Hill) leading onto the High
Street, where I pointed out to Heather, the
turning on the left (Orchard Street) is where I
used to live, Craig not hearing properly though I
had said to turn left, so he slammed on his
brakes, where I nearly collided into him. We
progressed down the High Street round the S bend
and joining Overton Road (Lockers Lane). Saw an
old friend Leo who was with A.N.Other Chic. After
reaching the A4447, realized that we would make
it to the pub at approx 7.30, I think a little
too early, so we continued crossing the A4447
onto Odstone, Shakerstone, where a swift one
would have been satisfying, but as we had had a
phone call telling us that Roy was on route,
whatever route that was, later found out it was Rosy Way... We called Derek who was still at
work, as he was going to join us at the Crown. We
headed back to Ibstock via Heather's name sake,
but as the locals say it 'Heether', so after
passing through 'Heather'...we attempted the hill
leading into Ibstock (Station Road) and at the
top, Heather recognized Roy cycling in the
opposite direction! So he did an about turn and
joined us at the Crown Inn to eat and for a
ribena or 2! Roy volunteered to buy his fellow
cyclists a beer, he felt guilty about holding
everyone up!, but why was he so late I guess we
will never know... we could assume, but that only
makes an 'AS' out of 'U' and 'ME'. My phone rang and Heather ran into the pub with my rucksack
with the loud dampened ring coming from it, it
was Derek wandering where we were, he sat outside
the Crown Inn my rucksack with the loud dampened
ring coming from it, it was Derek wandering where
we were, he sat outside the Crown Inn, in a
chic's car (mine), concerned that we were not
there as he could not see the bikes! 'Quick Roy's
buying a round'.
Food was ordered by all and pints of ribena &
tempted whiskey which was thrown in the skip by
the landlord.
We departed into the lounge as the hot night got
cooler... Helen called a number of times (bloody
poor reception), she had had a tough badminton
game in her shorts and was in the need of a
drink, soft may I add she was driving... about
ten times around the village, yep another one
that had got lost! Derek went to try and locate
Helen around Ibstock, Helen reckoned he liked to
drive a chic's car (has been known as a hair
dressers car!). Helen finally arrived in her
shorts and Derek shortly after.
The cyclists Heather, Mick, Craig, Roy (lost
pigeon) and I headed back to the scrap yard at
9.40, Helen and Derek remained in the pub for a
soft one whilst Helen demolished her jacket
spud... 10pm at the scrap yard loaded up the
bikes and everyone headed off with the exception
of Derek and Helen, we had further ribena's at
the Charnwood Arms, where we were catching up on
the evenings events, how late Roy was and speak
of the devil Roy walked into the pub wandering
how to get back onto the motorway! As you have
possibly guessed navigation is not his strong
point, remind us not to let Roy arrange a route,
as it would be Roy's Way... Piss up at a brewery
springs to mind!
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